(The following blog was sent in by a Grimm Generation fan. If you would like to contribute to The Grimm Generation Sings! submit to thegrimmgeneration@gmail.com for consideration.)
Timing is everything. Somehow, in the case of this particular pair, timing was anything but kind. She stumbled across him recently, and a smiled washed over her. The same smile that used to be painted across her face every time she would see him running down the halls in their junior high school. He was the cutest boy she had ever seen and she was the biggest chicken in the world. He was loud, obnoxious, athletic, and maybe the funniest person she had ever known. Everybody liked him. Students, teachers, coaches, everyone.
She heard a song the other day. One she had never heard before and honest to God it made her cry. It made her remember things she had long since forgotten. Things buried so deep into her subconscious that she forgot they were there. She remembered walking her dog on Saturday mornings, going way out of her way just to see if he would be outside shagging balls on the field or having a catch with his partner in crime. She spent endless summer days splashing around in the local pool hoping that he would show up for a swim. Many times it paid off because there he was. It didn't make a difference, however, because she was too afraid to speak to him. The only time she ever got close enough to him to have a conversation is when he was with said partner in crime. And even then all her conversation was directed toward his friend. I don't think she ever once looked this boy in the eyes.
She saw him one night at the local drive-in. She was coming out of the girls room and she heard this loud laughter going on just outside the doors of the concession stand. She and her best girlfriend decided to walk in that direction to see what was so funny. There were the boys, cutting up and having a great time. One boy pushed another and he lost his balance and stumbled right into me. I almost fell over. I surely would have had he not grabbed my arm to get me back in balance. “Oh my God” she thought as she looked up at his handsome face. She had never stood so close to him before. He was so tall!
“You okay?” he asked in a quiet voice that she had never heard before. He was always laughing or yelling or acting a mess but quiet was a new one on her.
“Yeah” She manages as she felt him release her arm. She was sure her face was beet red. Thank God for dimly lit drive-ins. Her friend had know this boy for years and had no problem picking up the conversation. She wasn't sure what they talked about. She just stood there as the words faded to silence and she watched his lips move. Insane, the crush she had on him.
She didn't see him for years after that. She was moving away that next day. Yet another move she didn't want to make, but was not given the option to stay put. She thought about him as she drifted off to sleep on the car ride to her destination. Soon, he was a distant memory.
Listening to this song, over and over, more memories came flooding back. She had moved back in state and during her lunch break one day she heard the whine of a very fast motorcycle. It was close and it caused her to look up. She could not believe her eyes, for there he was...all grown up. She had grown up as well and her inability to speak to him had left her. She smiled that smile, the one she always got when he was around. The smile she thought for sure he had never noticed. They talked awhile and laughed a lot. They talked about getting in touch and they exchanged numbers, but as fate would have it, she was moving again. This time her journey would take her clear across the country. Pretty soon he was back to being a memory.
After a couple years away, she moved back home. She got a job and life was ok. She thought about that boy from time to time. She tried to look him up every now and then too. She ran into a mutual friend at a concert and she asked about him. He was married and had a couple kids. Timing was just as unkind as she had ever been. She was glad that he was doing well and felt a little silly for the tinge of jealousy she felt over her childhood crush being married. Soon, he was a distant memory once more.
The song she heard the other day was one that he had played for her. You see, she ran into him again. Timing being what she has always been caused this encounter to be bittersweet. He was single having gotten divorced but that was not the case for her. She was married. He was still as handsome as he ever was and he still had a smile that would light up the sky if the sun should ever decide to go on strike. The things that killed her about him playing this song is that for all those times that she was afraid to speak to him, for all those opportunities she didn't take to just say hello, for all those extra miles she walked just to catch a glimpse of him...she found out that he felt the same way about her. If timing was unkind, irony was a bitch.
He played this song for her because he remembered that day in the bank parking lot. He remembered the laughter and the smiling. He remembered the exchanging of numbers. He remembered it as being the day that he never saw her again and over the years he has thought to himself about how he should have once again grabbed her by the arm and asked her if she was okay. She would have answered differently that time. Behind her tears there is a smile in knowing that way back where it all began, the shy girl with the huge crush was being crushed on herself.
Timing can be as unkind as she'd like, but she can not steal her smile, her memories, her crush that silently exists...still. Don't think she don't think about it.
~Anonymous
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